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Spicy Meatballs with Spaghetti

Spaghetti and meatballls

Spaghetti and meatballs al la Roman Maroni.

I have been thinking a lot recently about my very, very good friend Mike “Roman Maroni” McKenna. I have, through much fault of my own, lost touch with him. One of the warmest, kindest and funniest people I have ever known. I want him back. Mike, if you read this blog, this message is for you:

“I would like to direct this to the distinguished members of the panel: You lousy cork-soakers. You have violated my fargin’ rights. Dis somanumbatching country was founded so that the liberties of common patriotic citizens, like me, could not be taken away by a bunch of fargin’ iceholes… like yourselves.”

Watch the clip:


Yes, in my quest to find Mike, you people of delicate dispositions will have to writhe in discomfort as I pepper this particular post with bad pseudo cursing in the style of a 1930s Noo York (or was it Chicago?) gangster. Whatever, Roman Maroni was a Mafioso in the hilarious, utterly excellent film from 1984, Johnny Dangerously. A film whose script can be quoted, almost verbatim, by the splendid Mike. If you have not seen this movie, do yourself a fargin’ favour, icehole.

Spaghetti and meatballs is the dish around which every mafia based movie ever, has been scripted. If there are no spaghetti and meatballs in the script, the movie flops. Thanks to various skulduggery and technological marvels, spaghetti and meatballs can be subliminally inserted into these movies and most of us are none the wiser. I’m waiting for the first farging corksoaker that that comments on this post to tell me (maybe) that the entire Godfather trilogy made no mention of the dish. It was there, you just didn’t notice it. Okay?

My fridge is in a hell of a state. Basically, its not empty, but to be honest, it is lacking in many of the essential ingredients that help differentiate one mince based dish from another. Did I mention I have a shedload of mince?  With such a dire situation and no choice but to cook mince, I was thinking, Cottage Pie? No. Spaghetti Bollock Naked? No. Minced Curry? No. And then it came to me. Meat balls. Not just any meatballs, but Fargin’ Spicy Fargin’ Meatballsh for Mafioso.

This is a dead simple recipe and it is quick to cook. We’re talking 30 minutes from the moment you start prepping the ingredients to the moment you start eating the somanumbatching meatballsh.

Ingredients (for the fargin’ meatballsh)

  • 500g mince
  • 1 very finely chopped onion
  • 1 very finely chopped clove of garlic
  • 1 very finely chopped chilli
  • 1 tablespoon of Italian herb seasoning
  • 1 egg
  • 1 slice toast, crumbled
  • A dash of red wine vinegar
  • A decent splosh of Worcester sauce
  • Some coarse ground pepper
  • Some salt
  • A teaspoon of paprika
  • Some mild/medium chilli powder (to adjust the spiciness to your taste)

Ingredients (for the fargin’ sauce)

  • One sliced onion
  • One clove of garlic, chopped
  • One red chilli, de-seeded and fine-chopped
  • One tin of chopped tomatoes
  • A generous slug of passta
  • A sprig of rosemary
  • Some chopped fresh basil leaves
  • Coarse ground pepper
  • Salt

Method (for the meatballsh, icehole)

  • In a mixing bowl, combine all the ingredients
  • Using your hands, squash and squidge the ingredients together very thoroughly
  • Make little meatballs – smaller than a golf ball, bigger than a marble
  • Put these on a plate and refrigerate if you have time
  • Heat a little vegetable oil in a pan
  • When the oil is hot, add a few fargin meatballsh
  • Brown the somanumbatches
  • Put aside on a plate

Method (for the sauce)

  • In the pan where you browned the meatballsh, add your chopped onions and garlic
  • Soften the little iceholes
  • Add your chopped tomatoes
  • Add the chopped chilli
  • Add the sprig of rosemary
  • Add the Passata
  • Allow this all to simmer for a while
  • Taste. Does it need seasoning, icehole? It does? Season it then ya somanumbatch.
  • When the sauce has simmered for a bit, add the fargin’ meatballsh.
  • Simmer for a few minutes, stirring carefully so you don’t bust the cork-soaking meatballsh
  • Add the chopped basil just before serving
  • Serve on top of beautifully al dente spaghetti
  • Garnish with cheese and fresh basil
  • Eat.
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