What part of “no” do you not understand?

Over the last two days, I have been engaged in a correspondence with a gentleman claiming to be a doctor who would like very much to make a reservation for 15 in my restaurant.

Hello,

I am Dr. Xxxx Xxxxxxxx ,the director of Staff welfare XXX offshore UK Ltd. I want to book dinner for my group of workers .
They will all come for dinner in your place as from January 13th, 14th, 15th 2010 by 6:30pm each day.
They are 15 in number.Get back with your response if there is availability in your restaurant.

Kind Regards,
Dr. Xxxx Xxxxxxxx

Now, it is widely known, especially to me, that I in fact don’t own a restaurant. I replied to his letter, thus:

Dear Dr Xxxx Xxxxxxxx

I am afraid I don’t own a restaurant. I am merely a food blogger 😦

Kind regards

Paul

One would assume that this intelligence would have been sufficient for him to accept that indeed I do not own a restaaurant, but the good Doctor is a man of steely resolve. His reply to my reply follows:

Hello.
Many thanks for your response. We will appreciate if you prepare a 3 course menu for my group for the dinner. No special dietary.
We will be happy for any suggestion you may render since this is our first dinner in your restaurant
Kindly provide the total cost of the dinner for the 15 persons for the 3 night dinner so as to provide my credit card details for full payment confirmation.
Your response will be appreciated.
Kind Regards,
Dr. Xxxx Xxxxxxxx

The man is clearly not reading my emails, or he is bringing optimism to new heights. I was compelled to reply:

Dear Dr Xxxx Xxxxxxxx

Unfortunately, I am still just a mere food blogger and still don’t own a restaurant. I can understand your disappointment at the thought that since yesterday things have not changed, but I’m afraid that is life.

One day in the distant future, I might open a restaurant although I have significant fears that people might write to me asking to book their wives in for a face lift. It seems, no matter how hard I try, people just don’t understand what I do: If I’m a food blogger, people assume I have a restaurant. If I was a restaurant owner, people would assume I do plastic surgery. If I was to be a plastic surgeon, I fear that people would be queuing around the block for me to do tattoos on their naughty bits. Understand me here, I’m terribly misunderstood.

The long and the short of it is this:  I cannot feed your 15 persons for three nights. I cannot feed them for one night.

Kind regards

Paul

If there are any further developments in this intriguing correspondence, you will be the first to know.